Similarly, Bill (66, separated, gay man) remarks:
Many participants also reported intentions to age in place and stay in their home as long as possible, not unlike heterosexual individuals (Bell & Menec, 2015; Cicero & Pynoos, 2016). However, their motivations for doing so were distinct, often due to fears of homophobia and heightened financial concerns. Married and partnered participants were more likely to indicate a desire to age in place, as it was understood that partners would help provide care. For example, Barbara (66, married, lesbian) noted that partners often provide care, but that the health and age of a partner are crucial in allowing one to age in place. However, due to a general tendency to be childfree, participants noted that friends, a partner, or a hospice care service would also help them age in their home. Roger (70, married, gay man) noted that we have to rely on each other, whether that be spouses or family of choice. It was well understood-even sometimes in the absence of conversation about it-that chosen family will provide care in one’s home.
Other participants shone further light on how friends provide unpaid care, which allows older LGB people to age in their own home. Barbara revealed that it is not uncommon for older gays and lesbians to be estranged from the family, which creates a situation where people must rely on friends for care. She noted, I know many, many cases where the friends … have come together, provided food, provided transportation, been there by the bedside when somebody dies. Teddy (63, married, bisexual man) echoed this sentiment, reily results in older LGB people turning to friends for care.
However, the ability to age in place may not always be possible, as social isolation (e.g., lack of social networks) leaves some older LGB adults unable to live at home. Consistent with prior literature (Cicero & Pynoos, 2016), participants also acknowledged that their houses would have to be more accessible to accommodate physical decline and disability to age in place. Notably, this approach to care differs from aging in LGBTQ-friendly communities insofar as participants wish to live independently in their own homes, rather than in shared residences or long-term care homes. A similarity, however, in both approaches is an embracement of the notion of interdependency and a rejection of heterosexual models of care that typically include a heavy reliance on biological family and children.
Quality Over Quantity of Life
Older LGB people also expressed a strong desire for quality over quantity of life in late adulthood. Participants, specifically, named assisted suicide as one possible method to opt for quality over quantity of life should they no longer be able to provide care for themselves. .. enjoyable … if I got bedridden or something like that I’m ready to go. I don’t want to live like that. I don’t want to live in a bed. I don’t want to live on a machine … I would probably want to end my life myself. Chris, similar to other participants, later elaborated that he is unable to accept what he perceives as a low quality of life, including an inability to complete basic bodily functions (e.g., eating, mobility).
… I do believe that people should have the right to end their life . You know, I don’t consider myself suicidal, but … people should have the dignity https://kissbridesdate.com/blog/polish-dating-sites-and-apps/ to live their life to the fullest. And when they feel like they have no dignity, I think they should have the right to say, You know, I’d like to have some medication and go to sleep.’ I mean, that’s what I would want.